Worried about myself
At the moment, my Chinese is getting worse and worse, even being in Shanghai. I started to realize it when I came here. The reason to that my Chinese is seriously lacking at the moment is because I have been in University where I don't speak Chinese, before I spoke Chinese with my mother at home.
Also it feels like I have lost my ambitiousness. In high school I was one of the students that was teachers' favourite. Where has that all gone? I know that Univeristy is very different from High School. Still, I have now one test to re-do because I did not pass it >_<
I try to tell myself I will have fun here in Shanghai and enjoy the rest of my stay and then when back in Sweden really drag myself up there again. I'm just worried that I won't, I know I didn't this January when I promised myself to do that.
I have a mother that is very demanding as I'm her only child, also all my cousins are all so successful so I feel really stressed and worried. I see those other Swedish Chinese girls who know better Chinese than me and who are better students than me. Makes me realize that I'm not that good after all as I thought. I promise here on this blog that I will start be more responsible and ambitious when I return to Sweden. Once I get back to Sweden I will also borrow some books in the state library about China's history as I'm very interested in it. I also want to read the book about Mao that has been banned in China. Then I will write a review.
You guys probably don't give a shit about what I am doing, but this is very important for me and I feel that I need to write it down so I can stick to it. :)
Also it feels like I have lost my ambitiousness. In high school I was one of the students that was teachers' favourite. Where has that all gone? I know that Univeristy is very different from High School. Still, I have now one test to re-do because I did not pass it >_<
I try to tell myself I will have fun here in Shanghai and enjoy the rest of my stay and then when back in Sweden really drag myself up there again. I'm just worried that I won't, I know I didn't this January when I promised myself to do that.
I have a mother that is very demanding as I'm her only child, also all my cousins are all so successful so I feel really stressed and worried. I see those other Swedish Chinese girls who know better Chinese than me and who are better students than me. Makes me realize that I'm not that good after all as I thought. I promise here on this blog that I will start be more responsible and ambitious when I return to Sweden. Once I get back to Sweden I will also borrow some books in the state library about China's history as I'm very interested in it. I also want to read the book about Mao that has been banned in China. Then I will write a review.
You guys probably don't give a shit about what I am doing, but this is very important for me and I feel that I need to write it down so I can stick to it. :)
Labels: Shopgirl's words
posted by Shopgirl at 10:42 AM
11 Comments:
I think it's a great idea. You might want to check out this one... http://www.amazon.com/Mao-Story-Jung-Chang/dp/0679746323/ref=pd_bbs_1/104-6938147-5319950?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1184062161&sr=1-1
why not start today instead of tomorrow? Have you heard of the old chinese widom - "Song of Tomorrow"?
明日复明日，明日何其多！我生待明日，万事成蹉跎。世人若被明日累，春去秋来老将至。朝看水东流，暮看日西坠，百年明日能几何？请君听我《明日歌》。
hope your chinese is good enough to read this ^^
Honestly I thought your decision to quit the internship so you could focus on having a good time in Shanghai was quite immature. As adults we have responsibilities. I'd be pretty pissed if I was the one offering you the internship.
And if you realise your mistake, it seems bizarre you would not try to get back on course right away, rather than put it off again till you return to Sweden. You might not find the banned book here, but you can surely find lots of other material especially as you no longer have to work!
Åh, vad jag känner igen mig. Studerar själv kinesiska och känner mig inte alls duktigt pga dåligt disciplin och man funderar hela tiden hur man ska få tillbaka viljan/ambitionen att lära sig. Mitt modersmål är finska så som ditt är kinesiska och jag ska säga att jag är inte talar alls flytande så pass så som min bror gör och på så sätt känner man sig som en besvikelse inför resten av släkten. Jag tror du kan mer kinesiska än vad du tror, det väntar bara på att lossna. Lycka till! / saraharjunen.blogg.se
That good blog that you have, congratulations regards from Catalonia - Spain
how old are you? maybe you are just at that young stage still.
Yes, I'm still young and want to do other things. I thought the internship wasn't challenging enough, that I was wasting my time there.
I feel like I want to enjoy my stay in SH and do what I feel like doing and then when I get back to Sweden be riding on high horses again, haha
Hi, just randomly saw your blog. I love Shanghai. Thanks for sharing your awesome experiences at Shanghai. They sure make me wanna go back right now.
ust finished university myself, I think it's a period of time that you won't truly come to an understanding of it until you are done with it. Yet once you are done, all you are left with are memories and maybe regrets. So as of right now, enjoy it just like you are enjoying Shanghai, do the best you can and don't regret.
虽然走过的每一刻 都将永远地离我们而去
但当它还依旧火烈地燃烧着的那一瞬
你有没有把它化作永恒
:) Thanks a lot for your comments and thoughts.
It seems to me that all you do is party and drink. And eat out in expensive restaurant. This is not the way to enjoy Shanghai. Eventhough you live in Sweden, but you're still chinese. Dont forget your roots. If you want to enjoy Shanghai/china, you should enjoy some typical chinese cuisine and visit other cities that have history attched. You behave like a white kid in Shanghai. But you're yellow. Its embarrasing.
Do what you gotta do don't regret life. You should be passionate. Find something you feel passionate about.
Post a Comment
<< Home