My aunt's blog entry about me
Could someone be kind enough to translate for me? I'm tiaotiao. I can read some, but don't understand it all. My oldest aunt wrote this on the 6th November 2006.
跳跳，我家的宝贝
“汪家有女初长成”我的外甥女跳跳从瑞典回上海一个月了。这一个月令我不盛其烦。本来她的到来对我应是一件非常愉快的事，因为我没有女儿，我一直把她视如已出，宠她，护她。为什么她20岁了，不再要我管她衣食住行了反而嫌她烦了，我自己也百思不得其解。以我以往的思维方式，我也是一再反省自己是不是老了，和年轻人不易沟通了，是不是和世界有了距离，跟不上时代了。为什么总是看不懂这孩子？
第一看不懂，为什么一到夜晚她就来精神，泡网、泡洒吧、上夜总会？让我们为她担心。 开始我以为是调时差，一个月了时差早就调过来了。我问她为什么？她说和中国人没有共同语言。开始我认为是母语不习惯的问题，很快可适应。现在我想通了这还是文化背景的问题。我们的孩子长期在西方生活，他们对中国热爱、好奇，他们知道自己是中国人，但是是ABC，是香蕉。他们已经不再适应中国的主流文化，他们思想分裂成东西二部分，再也不可能成为东方淑女了。是喜是悲？
第二看不懂，为什么到了商场、餐馆就热情高涨，失控的消费欲望左右她的行为，让我们看不下去？国外名牌 不比中国多，食品不比中国丰富？一个外国来的大姑娘不如中国农村上来的小姑娘有修养。但是话说回来，我们一直在国内，在大上海可能是生在福中不知福，如果我也是在国外关几年，回来看到灯红酒绿的消费场所，我们也会动心，只是内敛一些吧。
还有很多看不懂、听不懂、想不通，我就不一一叙述了。我们在改变世界，世界也在改变着我们，在改变着我们的后代。不论我们看得惯否，我们都要尊重事实，存在的都是合理的，我们要努力发现事务合理性的内核，我们就会见怪不怪了。我们就没有那么多牢骚了。
跳跳，我家的宝贝
“汪家有女初长成”我的外甥女跳跳从瑞典回上海一个月了。这一个月令我不盛其烦。本来她的到来对我应是一件非常愉快的事，因为我没有女儿，我一直把她视如已出，宠她，护她。为什么她20岁了，不再要我管她衣食住行了反而嫌她烦了，我自己也百思不得其解。以我以往的思维方式，我也是一再反省自己是不是老了，和年轻人不易沟通了，是不是和世界有了距离，跟不上时代了。为什么总是看不懂这孩子？
第一看不懂，为什么一到夜晚她就来精神，泡网、泡洒吧、上夜总会？让我们为她担心。 开始我以为是调时差，一个月了时差早就调过来了。我问她为什么？她说和中国人没有共同语言。开始我认为是母语不习惯的问题，很快可适应。现在我想通了这还是文化背景的问题。我们的孩子长期在西方生活，他们对中国热爱、好奇，他们知道自己是中国人，但是是ABC，是香蕉。他们已经不再适应中国的主流文化，他们思想分裂成东西二部分，再也不可能成为东方淑女了。是喜是悲？
第二看不懂，为什么到了商场、餐馆就热情高涨，失控的消费欲望左右她的行为，让我们看不下去？国外名牌 不比中国多，食品不比中国丰富？一个外国来的大姑娘不如中国农村上来的小姑娘有修养。但是话说回来，我们一直在国内，在大上海可能是生在福中不知福，如果我也是在国外关几年，回来看到灯红酒绿的消费场所，我们也会动心，只是内敛一些吧。
还有很多看不懂、听不懂、想不通，我就不一一叙述了。我们在改变世界，世界也在改变着我们，在改变着我们的后代。不论我们看得惯否，我们都要尊重事实，存在的都是合理的，我们要努力发现事务合理性的内核，我们就会见怪不怪了。我们就没有那么多牢骚了。
Labels: Others
posted by Shopgirl at 5:00 PM
30 Comments:
i can help to translate...
ur auntie seems to be quite disappointed in u...
she first mentioned that u r aldy been in shanghai for a month. she thought that it shud be a happy thing for her since she doesnt have any daughter so she dotes on u alot. she thought that both of u have communication problems which is why she cant understand u.
firstly, wad she dont understand abt u is y do u always like to go online, or go to bars & clubs late at nights. ur party-going ways make her worried for u. she thought it might be due to time difference. but u shud have aldy gotten use to that time in shanghai. she asked u why and u replied that u dont have similar language with the Chinese pple. Ur aunt tot might be due to different mother tongues initially but later she found that its due to cultural diffs. since u grew up in western country, the love n curiosiy for china, u know ure a Chinese but ure still a ABC (i tot this term is for American CHinese???? ure not even an American!!)and a BANANA, that u no longer get used to chinese culture and no longer be a true Asian girl. is it considered good or bad?
secondly, she dont know y the moment u step into department stores, or fast food restaurant, u get all excited...but this makes ur aunt feel v sad.
she feels that even a Chinese village girl has better moral values den a girl from western country.
she still have lots of questions abt u. we r changing the world and the world is also changing us. we still have to accept the fact no matter wad. we will try to discover the core of the matters and we will soon know wads going on.
(thats all)
WOW! Thank you sooo much for translating this. I really appreciate it!
"she feels that even a Chinese village girl has better moral values den a girl from western country."
WTF??? I'm going to question her on this one.
My aunt who wrote this was like a mother to me when I studied in China as a child for one year. I love her to death.
This site is great for translating Chinese into machine-English :)
http://babelfish.altavista.com/tr
ooh, Banana, yellow on the outside, white on the inside...
Still, if Siyan has been living in Sweden for 3/4 of her life, what can her aunt expect???
Yes, it's not surprising someone growing up in a western country would adopt western characteristics. I don't think it's a bad thing. Often it means the person takes the best from both worlds and is, in my opinion, richer for it. (But I guess I am not impartial since I am a British born Chinese, often referred to as a BBC by locals.) An example would be food. I love to have a cheese and pickle sandwich for lunch or a nice Sunday roast but also enjoy chickens feet in black bean sauce which most westerners would find revolting and I feel lucky that I can enjoy both equally.
Yeah, I don't either understand why she would expect me to be like them. But they just do.
However this time I will stay with my cousin, hopefully he is more understanding as he's from the same generation as me.
And thanks for the website link.
PS. actually I've spent more than 3/4 of my life in Sweden
Hmmm .... I just worked out I have spent 28% of my life in China, my God!
this is something i learned from my younger sister... even if you go out lots and do non traditional chinese things... aslong as you kick ass academically no one gives a fuck.
Actually, your aunt said at the end that the world is changing, which is also changing the future generations. No matter whether they (your aunt and her generation) are comfortable with the situation or not, they shall respect reality, and the logics of what is happening. They should find the logics and core of matters, to understand the situation, which may result in less nagging and criticism (about future generation, like you).
You aunt is basically trying to understand you, and I think that your excessive energetic anxiousness to go out and have fun at night, and crazy shopping is puzzling her. She just wants to understand what in your cultural background makes you differnt. I think that as ABC's, since we learn to express everything clearly and freely, we tend to be loud and too energectic, which is what Chinese don't understand because they are usually more quiet and modest (surpressed?), or at least on the surface.
I think most ABCs from my school are loud, ignorant and arrogant and many of them feel supior to locals in one way or another. Like my ex bf, he thinks all the shanghainese girls are in love with him just because he's from america. I really wonder what makes him think that way because when I was in the states, I felt ppl were actually more *normal*, which means they showed appropriate amount of modesty, well-mannered behaviors, sincerity and honesty.
Well, as I was discussing with Shopgirl it's not just Asians or ABCs but also many non-Asian guys in Shanghai who are basically losers back home and find they have local girls swarming around them here. I call them LL (loser laowais). A lot of these people change their behaviour as a result and become more arrogant. I see examples of this daily.
跳跳, Your aunt is damn right about Chinese village girls having higfher moral value than Western girl. Her comments in general make a lot of sense (same impression I get from "reading" your blog about shopping, drinking, partying - and I am not an elderly Chinese auntie).
As for the comments above, Amyiren is right. I myself cant stay to have those self-proclaimed acronyms around me - they are all so loud and arrogant. Typical comment from woaizhonguo, the old cliche of the foreign loser who becomes a demigod in China. You may also have heard its feminine counterpart "Chinese girls are all goldiggers". Inept. (Having said that, I was among the first to say that Shanghai was full of white trash, since 2004).
I'm not loud nor arrogant.
Just because I enjoy shopping and partying doesn't necessarily mean that I have low moral values.
sorry i use anonymous...i was the one who translated ur post and i was trying to translate everything quickly as my mum suddenly woke up pestering me to slp since it was quite late =P i tink for the last parag, i did not actually translate clearly enuff...
well, yea ur aunt is still tryin to understand u cuz ur attitude abt life (everything from using internet to shopping) puzzles her...mu opinion is that i tot most Asian girls are actually like u since more n more Asians r in fact, becoming more Westernised even if they dont grow up in western countries...juz like me, im from Singapore and cuz of all the American influence, mtv blah blah blah, i become more aware of clothing brands etc... actually going to bars or clubs and shopping are small part of young pple's lives, dont u agree??
even, we r picking up slangs from all those mtvs and movies...so actually wads the big deal? its natural for a teenage girl to go wooooow over mega shopping malls or bling bling etc cuz its all abt NOW.
and yes, we r the future generation, the one who will change the world very soon or rather, we r changing it now....
it's not arrogance what western chinese show in china. all western chinese who come to china are rich, at least richer then locals. so they act rich too, nothing wrong or wrong about that.
and the fact that local girls "like" them so much, is not that they are good looking or whatever. more out of curiosity.
So they're not arrogant, they are just rich and act rich? Let's be honest, some of them are arrogant rather than "acting rich"! I'm one myself so I'm not by any means saying they are all like that, but I've seen many examples and I am sure others have too, hence the comments above from others.
And sure, SOME local girls take an interest because we are different to local men and it's natural to enjoy a change from the norm.
But on the other hand, I have also seen some girls completely blinded to the fact some guy is an a**hole, simply because he also happens to be white.
I don't think all the western chinese come here rich. Many of them earn more here just because they speak english or other western languages. They probably wouldn't make that much back in their own countries.
Haha. Last time, I hade guts enough to bring a swedish male friend to guangzhou. My auntie hated me since we arrived and she still think i'm a cheap whore.
According to her, it's wrong to go out late at night, be with guys, be rebellious. She thinks I lack moral and stand for what a good girl shudn't be like. She also thinks
Whatever, I cudn't care less but of course it hurts when she still talk to me in THAT way.
Jeanette,
that is what I had to put out with every single day from my aunt when I was in Shanghai last time. This time I will stay with my cousin instead so hopefully I will skip all the bullshit.
Why is it so hard to accept other ppls lifestyles? It's not like i'm fucking around or something, I don't even have that many male friends. But as soon as i told her i'm going to shanghai with a friend (swedish girl), she said: And of course it's a boy, i know how ppl like you are like and i know what you're thinking yada yada.
Native chinese ppl think in a different way. It seems to be ok for everybody to comment about my weight. I don't think I'm fat but my family / relatives can't stop pointing at my thighs making me feel bad about myself.
They're always playing mind-games with me, trying to make me feel guilty about who I am.
" you can't do that because u'll make ur mom disappointed" "Good girls don't do stuff like that" etc etc.
I mean, Wearing a ribneck tanktop doesn't make me a whore. Dying my hair in a slightly sheer color doesn't make me a bad girl. sitting in front of a computer doesn't mean I'm flirting with guys on the net.
I'm just so tired of this chinese mentality.
Jeanette, haha. I sooooo understand what you're saying. Been there, done that.
Trust me, I've heard lots of stories from my aunt saying I cant go out in that, etc. This time my aunt really hated me, saying things like I was a prostitute, a slut, etc. Just because I went out on the weekends. That is why I can't stand her anymore.
i understand where ur aunt is coming from...most chinese people are quite frugal, and save a lot of their income, rather than spend it on frivolous things like clothes, shoes, entertainment, etc. in addition, especially with older chinese generation, revealing clothes are still frowned upon (i know, cos my parents used to wouldn't let me wear tank tops or mini skirts). instead of getting angry at them, try to understand that they live in a different culture. just as you're having trouble understanding them, they're having trouble understanding you. why don't you try to spend more time with your aunt, maybe you'll understand her better. china has had such a turbulent history...especially this past 50-60 years (mass famine, revolution, violence, etc). can you really blame them if they can't understand your extravagant consumerism lifestyle?
also, i've been reading your blog sometime...i think it's a great resource for those who want to see what living in shanghai is like for an expat. it is no way near representative of what shanghai is "truly" like, at least not the shanghai natives and most chinese people know. maybe that's something to think about. instead of going to the bund next time, maybe take a bus to the surburbs and the poorer areas of shanghai? have you ever looked at the thousands of construction workers in shanghai and wondered what their life must be like? for all the work they do, they get at most 800RMB/month...probably how much you spend shopping a day...try talkling to them and you'll see why your aunt thinks a village girl has higher morals than you. Those girls come to shanghai and work like slaves so that they can send their monthly pay back to their family. And you?
^Anonymous
WOW. thank you for writing such a thoughtful and carefully written comment!
I totally understand what you're saying. I try to compromise with my aunts as well. Saying, ok, I'm not going out tonight. But if they expect me to do so everytime then it wouldn't work. They can't ban me going out having fun and enjoy my youth!
As my own mother and siblings were experiencing what you mentioned (cultural revolution, famine, poverty etc) I totally know it's wrong of me not caring about those who are less fortuned than me. Being honest, I'm a not a big shoppingqueen. Everytime I go to Shanghai I try to meet my old neighbours and give them small gifts from Sweden, and my mum sometimes help them financially. We are long from being rich but we still feel obligated to at least do something. But thank you for the reminding note.
o please !amYiren. chinese ppl in the west are making way more money. more money than they ever could have made when they stayed in china.
and wtf, chinese ppl dont save their income. they buy nice stuff (as in: expensive stuff), to show off to other chinese.
:)
to :)
check ur facts. china has one of the highest savings rate in the world (along with japan and some other east asian country). that's why the US has been trying to get china to increase its consumer consumption for so long.
china is the biggest consuming country, as in, anual growth 10%
the first anonymous botched the translation job. I don't have time now but I will come back later and try to give my own translation.
Let's just say your auntie came cross to me as an caring, understanding person even with a bit of humor. That kind of personality in the original wring was completely lost in the first translation.
It's bit sad already that you have to rely on others and translation to understand your auntie, it would be even sadder if misunderstanding creates a riff between you two.
later ..
Well, I kind understand your aunt's feeling about your "glamorous life style". You are not an old-fashioned girl and that's fine, since you are raised in Sweden.
Still, twenty-something girls should begin to realize that it is not that fabulous to drink and party till midnight every damn day during a simple vacation.
It sounds to me that your aunt expects more of you than what you have become. It is more about being a grown-up than 东方淑女. So go and grow up!
I hope your aunt will change her opinion about you next time you get back there. Make your family proud as all the Chinese are born to do.
But I don't want to be a DongFang Shunu, that's not really me
I think the first person who helped with your translation is a bit wrong. The tone of your aunt is quite reflective and honest. She just says that she was really happy to have you visit as she didn't have her own daughter. She then mostly talks about how she feels it's a generational thing, and although she herself is not old, she doesn't get a lot of the younger generation, like shopping and bars, etc. She says you know you're Chinese, but that also you grew up overseas, and do not think like Chinese. She asks herself whether it's good or bad, she is just contemplating things, not criticizing you. To sum up she says that already things are changing, and from what I picked up in her tone, it's a lot about her thinking about herself and sharing it with you, a very much adored niece (?). IMO
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