How to get rid of her?
Dear Cedric, I have a local Chinese girl I met through work who is becoming quite aggressive in trying to get me to go out with her, meet her or whatever. She sends me a lot of text messages and calls trying to get me to do these activites. How do I get her to stop without being mean and causing problems with my work life.
Cedric:
Unwanted advances are certainly never pleasant, whether they are from girls or over zealous gay guys. Guys should take note and remember this when dealing with girls as well, they love attention, but not unwanted attention.
Most likely she is just being friendly and wants to meet some foreigners as it is something new and exciting to her. I think you can take two approaches with this, depends on which one you see as the better one for your situation.
The first, and one I prefer, is to unload her on your friends (or whatever you want to call expat acquaintances). Bring her out to a large expat dinner, you know, one of the 8000 going away parties, birthday parties, mixers or all you can eat and drink celebrations that happen thrice a week. You can introduce her to the group and over a few drinks she can mix and mingle and satisfy some of her curousity of the outside world. Be frank with her though and let her know it is not a date, but it would be good for her to meet some other foreigners and have some fun. If she is as aggressive as you make out she will probably leave the party with at least two or three other phone numbers and MSN IDs which will lighten the load on you.
The other option is a fairly easy out, since you have a business relationship. Tell her that although you like her and your other colleagues you tend not to mix work with your personal life. Just let her know that you are not interested in hanging out with colleagues as you don’t want it to affect work in any way. Then when she contacts you simply let her know you are busy with your latest project (or whatever) and don’t have time to chat.
If it turns out she says something really strange like, no problem, I was going to quit anyway, now we can be together all the time!!! Then write Cedric back and I will give you my tried and true techniques for unloading a stalker.
Cedric:
Unwanted advances are certainly never pleasant, whether they are from girls or over zealous gay guys. Guys should take note and remember this when dealing with girls as well, they love attention, but not unwanted attention.
Most likely she is just being friendly and wants to meet some foreigners as it is something new and exciting to her. I think you can take two approaches with this, depends on which one you see as the better one for your situation.
The first, and one I prefer, is to unload her on your friends (or whatever you want to call expat acquaintances). Bring her out to a large expat dinner, you know, one of the 8000 going away parties, birthday parties, mixers or all you can eat and drink celebrations that happen thrice a week. You can introduce her to the group and over a few drinks she can mix and mingle and satisfy some of her curousity of the outside world. Be frank with her though and let her know it is not a date, but it would be good for her to meet some other foreigners and have some fun. If she is as aggressive as you make out she will probably leave the party with at least two or three other phone numbers and MSN IDs which will lighten the load on you.
The other option is a fairly easy out, since you have a business relationship. Tell her that although you like her and your other colleagues you tend not to mix work with your personal life. Just let her know that you are not interested in hanging out with colleagues as you don’t want it to affect work in any way. Then when she contacts you simply let her know you are busy with your latest project (or whatever) and don’t have time to chat.
If it turns out she says something really strange like, no problem, I was going to quit anyway, now we can be together all the time!!! Then write Cedric back and I will give you my tried and true techniques for unloading a stalker.
Labels: Cedric Iglesias' dating column
posted by Shopgirl at 3:06 PM
1 Comments:
Where is the link to your forum from the blog and where is the answer to the questions I asked Cedric? I have a few more questions for you once your forum is really online. I love you girl, soon the most famous blogger in Sweden (population-wise, its a bit like being the most famous blogger in Suzhou, right?).
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